So, let’s just skip the small talk and get right into what is on my mind today shall we? Great.
I have just recently felt an overwhelming amount of sudden sadness due to the thought of death. I have never been someone who is “afraid” of death of “scared of dying”. I’m also not a very religious person so I can’t sit here and tell you that God has my back and I know what happens after we die because, obviously, I’m not dead so I don’t know!
I started thinking about the fact that when I die, I will most likely never see my family again. I’ll never see my friends. I’ll never hug my mom. I’ll never hug my dad. I’ll never attempt to hug (I say attempt because he is NOT a hugger) my brother. I’ll never kiss the person I end up marrying. I’ll never laugh at my dad’s awful sense of humor that for some reason I totally understand. I’ll never have heart to hearts with my best friends. I’ll never laugh so hard my stomach hurts. I’ll never ever see these people that I have connections with again.
So, what is the purpose of this? Why are we born to live, to make connections, to find love, to make memories, only to die and have it all vanish. I mean I get the whole “well you’ll be dead so it’s not like you’ll know”, but I’ll know leading up to it. I don’t understand the point right now. I don’t get it. There is no point to life, to making money, to having kids, to finding “the love of your life”, to having a family, to loving your family, there is no point if we’re all going to die and have it ripped away.
Who decided that this is how it should be? Evolution? God? Extra Terrestrials? A random act of some bullshit theory? I don’t get it. I am lost and it makes me so sad to think that I am here to live and die, but I am also supposed to make connections, to be happy, to live a long life filled with joy and happy memories. Why? Why in hell would I want to do any of that if I’m just going to die?
Does anyone else see what I’m saying?