I get excited when I meet new people. I want to learn about them.
I come on strong because I’m eager.
Eager to know more. Eager to listen to their stories, their passions. Eager to remember little details about them that make them smile. Eager to make a new friend.
I love making new friends, it may scare the fuck out of me, but I love it at the same time.
You see, I’m not scared of people, exactly.
Like, strangers, they’re not as scary to me.
But if someone I’m starting to know talks to me, I freeze. My mind starts working at a speed of 100 miles/minute. I’m still learning how to control that.
So to some people, I come on strong because my mind is racing and my eagerness is battling that and I just sound like a batshit human running on 10 cups of coffee. So for that I apologize.
You see, again, I’m not scared of people exactly,
I’m scared of what will happen once they know about my anxiety; about my past; about my present.
I come on strong because I am eager.
I am eager to distract people from who I actually am, from who I have been, from what has happened to me and who I have become because of it.
But underneath all of that, I’m a very gentle, loving, kind person who is just terrified of the world sometimes.
So I’m sorry that I come on strong in the beginning, but if you are someone new and you happen to read this, I promise I’m someone who is worth getting to know.