I Just Want to Impress People

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Do you ever want to do something just for the sake of proving to people that you can do it? I’m genuinely asking anyone who reads this post to reply down in the comments section or to email me personally.

I don’t just mean peer pressure or a challenge; What I’m referring to is coming back from something hard, still being in a rough place, and just wanting to prove to people that you’re not who you used to be.

I constantly think about going to medical school solely for the purpose of getting a medical degree so I can be someone worth being proud of; so I can say to people, “hey look what I did, I told you I’m better, I told you I was changed, I told you I could do it”. I have no interest in beingΒ a doctor though, I hate biology so there’s that problem, but being a doctor is huge. It takes hard work and dedication and I just want to be something someone can be proud of. I want to be able to say I did something amazing, something shocking, something nobody thought I could do.

That isn’t fair though, not to me. I want to get a masters degree, again solely for the purpose of being able to say, “look. I did this. Me.”, but that’s not fair. That’s not right. I’d be doing it for them, not for me. I don’t think a bachelors degree is impressive enough. I don’t think anyone will really care or be shocked if I get that.

If I were to go into music or songwriting or YouTube/video production, nobody would be thrilled. They’d all be worried that I’m going to bottom out. That it’s not a career. If I were to major in health and wellness, work in a center or a psychiatric ward, I don’t think anyone would be impressed with me. I wouldn’t feel like I’ve done anything good other than put myself in debt…yeah that’s something I’m a pro at.

Like…none of this is because of my parents or anything. My parents are incredibly supportive people, but I personally don’t ever feel like I’m enough. Does that make sense? It’s not because I haven’t been told I’m enough, because I have. I get told people are proud of me regularly, but I just want to impress them, shock them, do something and become something they didn’t think I would, but that’s for them, not me.Β  Is that making sense at all?

So does anyone else understand what I’m saying and do you feel the same way? Let me know, please.

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3 thoughts on “I Just Want to Impress People

  1. I understand where you’re coming from. I’m enrolled in college for the fall and a part of me feels like I’m just doing it to make my parents finally proud of me. It wasn’t really a part of my plan but they wouldn’t let it go. It sucks though because I’m majoring in communications which is my choice, and they dislike it so I almost feel the need to major in something math-related just to get praise from my family. (Not doing that though) I also considered being an English teacher but what good is being in debt and having everyone judge me for choosing a low-income job?

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    • Thank you so much for replying! I’m glad someone understand what I’m feeling…well…I mean it sucks that you feel that way, but it’s good to know I’m not the only one who thinks like that. See, I don’t have an issue with the college part, and my parents want me to major in what makes me happy, I just want them to be surprised and shocked and proud and I feel like what I like won’t be enough. I know it will, because they’re good parents, but I personally don’t think it would be. I’m hard on myself and tend to try to think for other people.
      I’m sorry you feel stuck because of your parents though. That’s incredibly unfair and I hope you stick with what makes you happiest.

      • Same to you. If you can come up with a realistic and stable plan for youtube/songwriting/ anything else you wish, then go for it. As long as you find a way to support yourself you should follow your heart instead of your desire to impress others. I’m working towards taking my own advice, and although I’m far from it I’m proud of myself for choosing to major in communications and not finance like they wanted me to.

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