A Year of Blogging: Day 26

Standard

Q: Do you consciously do things to test people? If so, why do you feel this is necessary? How would it make you feel if a friend were doing that to you?

A: Yes I do. I have drastically decreased the frequency that I do this, but yes, I do consciously test people. I do it when my anxiety is acting up and I am wondering if whoever I am talking to can deal with it, if they want to deal with it, if they know how to deal with it, etc. I look for certain answers or wordings to make calm myself. I do not feel that testing someone is necessary, at all. In fact I think it does nothing but cause drama and add insecurity both to myself and my relationship between the other person.

I do not do it often anymore, which I am very proud of myself for, because I have learned a lot about why I do it, where that urge comes from, and how to better address the urge without needing to test someone. This learning process has helped me better myself and preserve relationships that otherwise would be damaged by now.

I am very proud of how far I’ve come in dealing with my anxiety, my triggers, and how I go about dealing with those triggers. I very rarely act on an urge to test somebody, but when I do, I regret it deeply and remember that feeling for the next time, so maybe I won’t do it again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s