Totally forgot to do yesterday’s question so I’m doing it early this morning, it’ll do!
Q: Are you more attracted to potential lovers who have personalities and values similar to or different from yours? What about potential mates?
A: First of all…what’s the difference between a lover and a mate? I always associated them as being essentially the same thing. A lover turns into a mate basically, so I’m going with that when answering this question.
I’m more attracted (personality wise) to people who are different than me. I am introverted and shy the majority of the same, so I’m more attracted to someone who appears outgoing and unafraid to be themselves. I need a little of that in my life so that balance is attractive to me. I find that the whole “opposites attract” thing is only true in some circumstances. For example…I don’t think I could be romantically involved with someone who lived and breathe video games because I personally do not have any interest in them and the relationship would get old fast for me. I am more attracted to people who are open about their opinions and aren’t afraid to say what they feel, as long as they’re polite about it and not targeting me if I feel differently.
As for values, I absolutely believe that you need to have similar values with your partner/mate if the relationship is going to work. Some couples make it work otherwise, but I know I would struggle with that. My values are centered about equality and fair treatment, so I’m not attracted to someone who say… has no compassion for people who have committed crimes, because I do have compassion for them. I think it would be hard for me to “mate” (that term is so primal I do not like it) with someone who has values that are opposite of mine. Differing is one thing, but opposite, that would be a problem. Seeing as I am not a religious person, I am not all that attracted to someone who wholeheartedly believes in their God. I respect their choice, and could still date people who differ from my stance on religion, but as far as “mating” goes, it would take some intense love and a lot of compromising!
Overall, I think it’s a lot easier to date or be in a relationship with someone who has differing personality traits or values than me than it would be to raise a family with such traits and views. What do you think? Would you date someone who had opposite views to yours? What about just got on a few dates with?