I am not a “go with the flow” kind of a girl. In fact, the flow scares the fuck out of me. I am the most structured, free-spirited person you will ever meet and yes that makes perfect sense if you knew me.
I am not the girl who can have “casual sex”. I mean I can, but it’s not the easiest process, which defeats the purpose of the word “casual”.
I am not someone who can just go out with friends the moment they call. I have to know in advance, even if all I’m doing at that moment is watching Netflix, I still can’t go.
I am not someone who can be late to places. I structure time down to the minute more often than not. I don’t like being really early and I don’t like being late. I like to be on time. If I do end up running late, I’m a panicked mess until I get to where I’m going.
I can go with the flow if I’m the one in control though… So if I’m canceling plans or changing time frames or bored and asking people to hangout, then I’m more lenient, but I don’t like when the cards are not in my hand. So…I’m both then. I’m a laid back go with the flow kind of a girl but also someone who needs structure 24/7…
If that even makes any sense.
I just thought I’d write out a little bit of what I am not because I tend to judge myself for that. So maybe by writing a piece of it out I won’t judge myself as much, or at least not as harshly. Also I don’t really understand what I am and what I am not…so here’s to trying to figure it out.